I wouldn’t dream of beginning to tell anyone how to BF, how long to do it for, or how important or not it is. It is probably the most controversial thing you will discuss if you are a new mum (particularly in London I have found more so than in Northern Ireland), with new mums and midwives/health visitors getting very vocal about this topic in particular.
It is such a personal experience and, for some people, it just doesn’t happen for one reason or another. There’s lots of help out there if you are struggling- midwives, BF clinics, BF support groups, your NCT friends – so don’t be afraid to scream and shout! But for others it goes swimmingly and is the b(r)est, most natural thing in the world.
Miranda Kerr breastfeeding, not me. Indeed.
If you plan to give it a go, there are some tips I can share to get you started at least.
1. Nursing Bras
Buy a couple of nursing bras – you will live in them, and very possibly sleep in them (I did!) so you’ll need a couple at least: maybe 2 x dark and 2 x white or nude to go with your wardrobe. M&S have a bra fitting service which is handy, so go along to get measured up a few weeks before you are due.
2. Breast Pads
Buy Breast Pads before bambino arrives. I would recommend Lansinoh – I bought their Disposable Nursing Pads and they were great as they have double sticky pads and are very absorbent. They’re also pretty cheap. My friend Orla highly recommended Tommee Tippee ones but I never tried them. I did try the cheaper own label ones but they were pants and kept falling out of my bra. LilyPadz are new ‘invisible’ pads which are great for a night out with no lumps and bumps showing.
Start with one pack and go from there.
3. Nursing chair
Some mums swear by a nursing cushion or chair to ease pressure on their backs when they are feeding. I’m not sure, I did use a cushion for my bump when I got very big towards the end of my pregnancy and it helped me sleep, but I could never get the knack of using it as a BF cushion. I did buy a gorgeous nursing chair from Fergus at The Pine Box in Coalisland and I use it now to read Maggie a story at night. It also looks very pretty in her room (which is the most important thing, right?)
4. Maternity tops
When you are BF your wardrobe becomes pretty limited. If like me you spent the last 8 weeks of pregnancy wearing more or less the same thing because nothing else fitted, you’ll be dying to get into something new and fresh. There are special nursing tops you can buy but I did loads of online searches and found them all quite hideous. Best to get normal tops in a bigger size that you can easily pull down so as not to reveal your belly and boobs. Or if you are brave, get pretty ones that are loose at the bottom that you can lift up and have a nursing vest top underneath.
5. Capes ‘n Covers
If you are BF in public, you might need more than a little Muslin square to cover you. Quite a few of my friends wore capes to cover themselves in public – Bebe au lait seem to be most popular – but others got away with a cleverly placed pashmina or an Abel & Anais muslin. The key is not to panic and get yourself all flustered when it happens (as I did!) You’ll only end up drawing attention to yourself AND exposing yourself, when really no one would have noticed otherwise.
6. Breast Pump
In my electric v manual breast pump strawpoll on Facebook, my mummies voted 90% electric. I would recommend the Medela mini electric breast pump, even though I never used it. I was lucky to get a loan of an Avent double pump from my friend Anita, which was very fortunate indeed. But it wasn’t portable and a bit fiddly so expressing always felt like a big deal. My sister had the Medela one and it just looked so much handier; I mean, she could load a washing while expressing- how cool was that. This display of multitasking was beaten only by my friend Sam who regularly breastfed on one boob, pumped on the other and did a spot of online shopping on the iPhone with her free hand.
My issue with expressing was that I fairly soon had one under-performing and one over-performing boob (the Dud and the Megaboob I liked to call them). So for quite some time I was getting very little milk from The Dud, and expressing constantly to try to ‘stimulate’ the bugger. It was very frustrating to say the least.
One good piece of advice I was given, however, was to wait until you know you can BF before you invest £70+ in a pump. Some mummies just don’t produce enough milk to express, so ideally borrow one if you can.
7. In Case of Emergency
Even though you are BF, have some baby formula in the cupboard. You might never have to use it, but it is very reassuring to know that it is there if you aren’t producing enough milk/just can’t do it/are knackered/ get mastitis etc and – this is important – it’s not poison! If you have to use it, it’s fine, don’t allow any midwife or health visitor or well-meaning yummy mummy tell you any different. I was terrified to start using formula, but was then reminded that my friend’s little baby was fed formula milk for the first days of his life because he was premature and in neonatal AND IT WAS FINE. I also found out that I was never ever breastfed, not even for a day. Apparently it wasn’t advised as formula was all the rage back then. And I’m FINE (mostly).
Aptimel and SMA seem to be the most popular, but there are lots of others – some friends use HiPP Organic, and there’s always the old favourite Cow & Gate.
8. Drinking from a bottle
Even if you never use formula, it is a brilliant idea to get your little duck used to drinking expressed breast milk from a bottle. Honestly, it is so important to encourage this early so that at some stage in the near future you can leave your little one in the capable hands of your partner, mum, sister, neighbour while you go to the hairdressers, the gym, amdram rehearsals, or just get out of the house. Again there are lots of brands of bottles out there. You might try out a few different ones and it’ll really be a personal preference. I was always told that Dr Brown bottles reduced wind but I wasn’t a big fan of the long teat- it just didn’t seem very boob-like (you imagine that something as close to the boob as possible is best). I also tried Avent bottles as they came free with the steriliser, but didn’t really like them.
In the end I went for Tommee Toppee as it was recommended on a lot of websites and won lots of awards & have used them since. You’ll need No. 1 teats for the first few months and then can upgrade to no. 2 and no. 3 as they grow up and need a faster flow. I mistakenly missed out on no. 3s for a while and poor Maggie was sucking the life out of the bottle and taking ages to feed.
9. Steriliser
You will need a steriliser for bottles, teats, breast pump utensils, dummies. I bought a Philips Avent microwave steriliser – they’re currently half price on amazon I’ve noticed – and it was great. You can fit 6 Avent bottles in there or 4/5 Tommee Tippee ones, which is plenty.
link to website here
I did end up buying a larger plug-in digital steam steriliser as we were going on a road trip to France and I was worried that we wouldn’t find microwaves on the way. I shouldn’t have, there was one at every motorway service station and on the boat, and the digital steriliser was just bigger, bulkier and held one additional bottle. Not worth the £50.
10. Weaning baby
When you decide to stop BF and are weaning off, you’ll find that your boobs get really big and heavy (and sore. Oh so sore). And of course you’re not meant to express the excess milk as it defeats the purpose.
So, a funny story to end – as I was weaning my Megaboob off around 3 months (The Dud was practically empty anyway) it got particularly big and sore and Full. So full in fact that it was rock hard. I swear to God I thought it was going to explode. I happened to be in Hammersmith at the time doing a spot of shopping, so I raced to the car park as I desperately needed to get home to express. I put Maggie in her carseat and was about to start the engine, but honestly the Megaboob was seriously sore and getting bigger and bigger. Could it explode? Hell, I didn’t know, but it was looking likely. So, after a cursory look around and seeing no one coming, I wound down the window, took the boob out, stuck it out the window and just pressed on it. Whooooooosh! The relief was palpable. Of course I’ve since thought about the security cameras which might have picked up an image the security men will never forget. You know, I always said I’d never tell that story, but there it is. If you didn’t laugh…
So, Good luck! And do get in touch if you want any non-judgmental advice.
Some official helpline numbers below
National Breastfeeding Helpline 0300 100 0212
NCT Breastfeeding Line 0300 330 0771
La Leche League 0845 120 2918
The Breastfeeding Network 0300 100 0210
The Association of Breastfeeding Mothers 08444 122 949
Hahahahaha!!wonderful,honest advice for getting on and off the boobs!love the end story..just what yoi nees after a hectic day with the kiddies- a right good old belly-laugh!x
Sure if you didn’t laugh you’d cry Flea! But sure you know all this… after all you have taught me everything I know! X (except how to put the rain protection cover on a bugaboo
)
Claire,
I’m loving your blog!
Having read your breastfeeding bit, I want to share the best advice I have been given recently: Happy Mum = Happy Baby.
I consider myself to be a normal, jolly and capable girl. I knew having and caring for a new baby is a challenge. I did my baby, birth and breastfeeding research and I looked forward to it all and becoming a Mum.
Anyway…
I had a difficult birth experience- then exhausted and feeling like a stampede of buffalo’s had run over me, I struggled to breastfeed. My baby would take a tiny sip then wince and turn her head away and absolutely refuse anymore. The midwives got little syringes (not with needles) and sucked the colostrum out of my boobs and my brand new baby even refused that. Hey? This wasn’t mentioned in any of the baby books I read! I lost count of how many people had a go at squeezing my bare boobs and arranged my baby on me to show me how to do it (how many strangers can manhandle your boobs in one day?!! I didn’t care I just wanted to breastfeed)- “put her here, this way, position her chin, tilt her that way, hold her like a rugby ball”…nothing worked. I felt like a failure and my new baby and I cried. Alot.
I kept trying over days and then when she did take a suck, my boobs felt like they were being stabbed with burning hot knitting needles and I sobbed in toe curling pain. I carried on as I was advised breast is best for baby, I persevered even when mastitis gave me a visit and made my boobs into boulders of pain and a raging sweat with shivers. Anyway, after four days of trying so hard to breastfeed (and feeling like I was the only new Mum in London failing to breastfeed), the health visitor said that my baby had become dehydrated and we were told to immediately give her formula.
So, sitting at home on my huge foam bum ring with a sanitary pad the size of a canoe in my huge granny pants, and cradling my baby in my arms while she drank formula from a bottle (try a few different types if your baby doesn’t take to the bottle immediately- we tried Tommy Tippee, then MAM and finally my baby liked Avent). I felt so relieved. The clouds had parted and I gently tried boobs without the pressure and the worry that my baby wasn’t getting enough.
I’m happy to say after three weeks or so of recovering a little bit from giving birth (still walking like a bow legged cowboy with bloodshot eyes and a zombie stare), I tried breastfeeding in my own time and combining it with giving her formula, my baby and I did eventually get the hang of it. I wapped my boobs out in the park, in the car, standing, sitting, chatting (Those giant muslins Claire had on her blog are really useful to cover up especially in the summer as the air flows around the baby). I became a breastfeeding ninja and my little baby is also just as happy drinking formula.
If you are a sore, exhausted and struggling new Mum reading this in the middle of the night and feeling like the only person who is awake in a hundred mile radius, please don’t feel depressed – try formula with your doctors consent and take breastfeeding at your pace.
If I am lucky enough to have another baby, and if I do struggle at the beginning again, I will not hesitate to use formula.
As I said, the most important advice I have been given is Happy Mummy = Happy Baby.
Good luck girls. xxx
Honestly Suzy, words aren’t enough. You tell your tale so well and honestly and sincerely, and while I shouldn’t laugh out loud I do, because it’s so true so true so true…and wonderful And Inspiring!
You are a Legend! A scrummy, deliciously honest, yummy, wonderful mummy!
THANK YOU!!!!
Hi Claire,
I know your sister Mairead and was reading your blog from her Facebook- very funny! And very true! BF is very personal and for those it works for- we all have our embarrassing moments! Like wearing a pre pregnancy top with slashed sides thinking I would be trendy while out shopping- staring in the window of Topshop only to notice my bra staring back at me! Thank god those dummies aren’t real!
On a more serious note though I would recommend the nipple shields, my midwife called them Mexican hats and I think they are around 6 quid for a pair in boots. I was successfully BF but after about week 3 my nipples were cracking and the pain was excruciating, I was dreading every feed and I have to say they were my God send. They allow your nipples to heal and then after a week to ten days you can carry on as normal. Some people find them inefficient but I found if you applied them with the Lansinoh cream they were excellent. I always had them handy if I could feel the soreness come back to nip it in the bud! I also bought a little sterilising dish from cleva mama on amazon that meant you could sterilise the shields in 30 secs which was very handy- works for dummies and teats too.
Another item I would highly recommend is a large baby towel, cleva mama does one as do mamas and papas, mother care e.t.c, just to wrap around you neck and then baby for gentle confident drying.
Good luck with your blog it’s really informative and fun! Wish I had all the info at the time and will pass it onto my friends! X
Oonagh thank you so much for your comments and your advice…it is great that we can share from other mummies experience – I swear I learnt so much more from Mairead and friends than I ever did from books (and I read quite a few!) thanks again! X
Definitely agree withe nipple shield advice…I too got mastitis several times whilst breastfeeding my little princesses and used the shields when my poor ickle boobs could take the pain no longer…
I also could not have BF for so long without my amazing expressor..during the times when I just could not bear even the thought of my little one coming near my boobs to feed, I found it so much more bearable to express…this meant the babby was still getting breastmilk (albeit from a bottle)and my boobs were getting time to recover..as Claire has said, expressing also meant I could give daddy a bottle or two to feed baby in the middle of the night…and I caught up on a few precious extra hours sleep!!
It is true though, BF is so unique for every unique mummy..and even for every unique baby..I have three girls and I had a different BF experience with each one.
You and baby will know what is right for you as a twosome…don’t let anyone else tell you what is right for either of you!Love, M x
Brilliant advice from you all, Suzy you are a litterary genius, you need to put this in one of those books you love reading, it would be a breath of fresh air!
I remember the first few days in hospital with everyone that walked into my room trying to help me BF, all had different methods, all tweaked and twisted my nipples (so much so I was rather disappointed if any visitors didn’t want a go…) and none of it was successful, Otis and I only got the hang of it once we were home, calm and on our own. I love BF now and am already sad at the thought of stopping as it will mean we’re onto the next phase of growing up.
I hated expressing, felt like a bloody cow, agh!! I do a couple of formula bottles a day instead, helped with O’s weight gain and took a bit of pressure off, best thing I did.
Also as a pretty flat chested girl pre baby I really, and I mean really, hated wearing a bra at night, big agh, slightly louder than before. I found my perfect solution on http://www.bras4mums.com which is a stretchy tube-like bandeau bra, not sexy, but super comfy and works with pads in too. X
Claire loved the BF episode could just see you.. this is so funny , a real “good tonic” as they say n Belfast……. Really enjoying your blog….. Rosh x
Claire
Good to hear the stories. I breast fed both of my babies more or less for 5 months and just kept an open mind. It does take over your life and even more so once you started the dreaded expressing. Although i was keen to offload some of the feeding responsibilities to my other half, there is nothing more depressing than the sound of that F***in machine!
Tip 1: Make sure you try and feed equally from both. I was convinced that after BF finished after my first, I was
lopsided. I made a concerted effort to try and rectify this with 2nd baby….think I just about got away with it!
Tip 2: when trying your wee ones with bottle for the first time. I gave them both a bottle aged 3 weeks old (during the dream feed – 10.30pm ish) and I think it is a good idea to get the husband to give it to them for that first time. I just think if you do it they expect boob, so both mine took to the bottle like ducks to water. Just my theory though can’t promise success!
Tip 3: I was convinced in the early days with my little boy that I was doing it all wrong. All the books said 1/2hr on each breast etc. My little boy would have got through both in 10 mins. I guess you just doubt yourself. But I think it is quite basic. If they feel empty they probably are. Have a squeeze and see what you think. When I think how much anxiety this caused me in the first week I laugh now, but it made it all so scary first time round.
Tip 4: if it is not working and you want to give it up JFDI! No-one gives you an award for breastfeeding, you don’t got to hell for using formula; and as far as I can make out most babies who are formula fed do just as well as breast fed babies for the rest of their lives!
Tip 5: pumps. I tried both the Avent and the Medula. Avent wins hands down, but it is the most expensive. The Medula I found quite painful!
All the best and hope people find all the comments useful so they can take on some ideas and experiment with what works and what doesn’t. I am amazed still at how little time is spent dealing with breast feeding versus birth at antenatal classes.
Kirsten
Kirsty, thanks for your tips! I agree- BF takes up such a huge emotional & physical part of those first few months and you get a one hour class on it. I also like your ‘if you need to give up -JFDI’. A good one liner for lots of things, follow your instinct and do what feels best. Tks love. Flea – thanks for your tips too, oh mum of 3 guru
Was enjoying babymoon number two, having a lovely relaxing lunch and reading this part of the blog. Laughed out loud for ages at your funny story – brings back memories.
When it comes to breast feeding, the thing I’m reminding myself now the second time around is to give myself a break! The pressure we put on ourselves to be fantastic at everything is unreal!
I had a tough time at the start with BF, with a bad case of mastitis that required a couple of nights in hospital. In the end once everything calmed down and I stopped listening to my Mum’s questions (bless her socks but it just wasn’t done in her day) about how many ounzes do you think he got there?, me and the wee man had a lovely time together for nearly seven months.
On the more practical side, a couple of wee tips
1. Keep warm! In the first few days, I found myself alot of the time quite bare chested when I was struggling to get baby to latch on, swapping boobs while trying to keep a note of how long (usu 5 mins!!) he had taken from one side and all the other juggling that seems to go on. I was advised to take care I didn’t expose myself too much and keep my chest warm because it will otherwise help a bad bout of mastitis to get even worse. Well I didn’t and I had the antibiotic on a drip to show for it!
2. I may well introduce formula earlier this time around. I had time of it getting him to take formula for a while, when I decided that I wanted to stop and get him on a bottle before I went back to work. Felt a bit like Tom Cruise making up mixtures of BM and Formula to different combinations until he would take the stuff.
Other than that, I suppose I’d just advise anyone to take a deep breath when you feel under pressure. You know your baby better than anyone in the world. Definately agree with the above that Happy Mum = Happy Baby.
Sarah thank you so much for your comments. It sounds simple – take a deep breath & do what comes naturally – but you are so right, you know your baby best! God bless Happy mums ! And good luck with baby 2, can’t wait to hear your good news xxx
Claire, well done on your new blog! Thoroughly enjoying reading all the stories! I am so excited to be expecting baby No.1 in July and have been following all the really good advice so would like to ask yummy mummies out there if any of you have ever tried cluster feeding?? And if so, how did it go? I would love to BF but if I can’t I’m not going to beat myself up! My sister cluster fed using formula with her two i.e. she recommended feeding baby every 3 hours during day until last feed at night and then let baby sleep during night until they wakened for next feed.. her two slept all through the night from they were 3 weeks old!!! That sounds like a plan to me!lol Any other advice would be much welcomed!!
Also, where the hell do mums to be shop for decent, trendy maternity wear???!!! The majority of the shops here in NI only stock crap, fuddy duddy clothes!! I am a big online shopper but am a little hesitant in buying maternity clothes that maybe won’t fit and I’ll end up never sending them back!!
Hi Michelle, great to hear from you! Firstly, congratulations !! Wonderful news on baby no. 1, I hope you and the bump are keeping well. And a summer baby too…obv I’ve only had one so don’t have any experience of having a winter baby, but summer ones are great! It’s scary enough the thought of looking after your precious bundle without the extra worry of them being too cold & it’s great to get outside during those lovely summer days and evenings. They sleep so well in the fresh air
Re cluster-feeding, you might find that even if you are feeding on demand that your baba is just fussy and cranky around bedtime anyway, so you end up feeding a bit more regularly. I tried to follow The Baby Whisperer’s EASY routine which does suggest you might need to do 2 cluster feeds in the evening but I just never found it worked for me. I did try to waken Maggie a few times for her cluster feed so she wouldn’t get up at night, but I just ended up wakening a sleeping baby (which she doesn’t react very well to), and making her more cranky in the middle of the night! Listen if Sonia got it to work for her so her babies were sleeping through that early then just do exactly what she did!! That sounds absolutely incredible & wonderful; she should write down her formula now and sell it!!
re maternity tops – it’s tough I know, I got one or two nice ones in Topshop (although definitely not as good a range as I imagined) & ASOS maternity (particularly good for work clothes but not necessarily BF). M&S launched a mat range too which wasn’t bad, but mostly I got mine in – would you believe – Dunnes Stores but just bought 2 sizes bigger. They happened to have really nice smock tops last summer.
Good luck Michelle! And thanks for getting in touch
Xx